Very Naughty

Again, I just don't know what I'm doing wrong.  I decided last weekend to give up on potty training.  The fight is not worth the stress and agrivation on me.  I've said it before and I'll say it again- I despise potty training even more then I dislike the every 3 hour infant stage.  At least an infant knows no better.  A semi-potty trained toddler knows full well what they are doing.  Up til last week at the point of giving up, my red headed monster was, a say semi-trained.  Generally he would at least hold it till we brought him to a toilet.  And I'm convinced he almost fully understood the sensations associated with going.  But inh is strong willed hed headed manner was refusing to catch onto even attempting to read his body signals, thus making me give up.  I felt like after a
couple months we should have been further along in understanding then we were.  So back to diapers we went, and that is where we have been since Sunday (6 days).  Hubby had not decided to give up yet, and was still havingn him sit on the toilet when he was around and changing his diaper.  There was little to no fight from him.
So all week he hasn't been pooping much.  He goes little bits at a time...most likely because he 1.doesn't like the feeling in his pants, and 2.knows he should be going on the toilet.
Along come today....and he is doing the little poops at a time.  Agh!  But okay, this is waht I resigned to.  Snack time...and we are sitting at the counter when 'that look' comes across his face.  He very nicely comes with me to the potty.  I get him situated and give him a few books.  Check on him, with no results and he asks for more books.  After three checks and more books, I concede to diapering again.  And this is when the fight begins...randomly having a fight that he doesn't want this diaper, he wants a small one.  I have to wrestle him into it, for fear of leaving him bare bottomed, and leave him to his fit to calm down on his own terms.  He eventually finds his way down the stairs, about 30min later, but still not wanting to come off the stairs.  So there he sits at the bottom of the stairs in his shirt and diaper, having refused his pants earlier...and has also refused to put them on himself, which he can do.  And there he sits.....I walk by and realize he is now sitting bare bottomed on the landing of the stairs, and wheree he was at the bottom is his diaper, a couple 'turds' and on the 4stairs up he has peed.  What am I to do?????
I take a deep breath and try to keep my cool.  In a calm voice I tell him how very naught this is.  I also explain that I will not clean up after him.  I get him something to do cleanup on his own, and explain he needs to dispose of it in the toilet.  Big surprise....he refuses.
Really - what am I to do??  I am at a loss!!  So up to his room he goes.
Help!
Lord, I'm not sure I was really meant to be the mom of a strong willed child.  I need more guidance.  More patience.  Please help.